This is happening...

Today is a hard day for me.  A really hard day.

In 2008, just before the holidays we found out that my mom has Parkinson’s disease.  That was hard to learn because we had known something was very wrong, but we were hoping to find a way to fix things and you see there is no cure for Parkinson’s disease. 

There have been many ups and down these past 5 years.  My mom is the ultimate optimist and rarely complains.  Parkinson’s affects neurons in the brain.  As Parkinson’s disease progresses, the amount of dopamine produced in the brain decreases, leaving a person unable to control movement normally.  We know there are certain activities that my mom can’t do and we try to plan things that don’t involve much walking, traveling is really hard on her but she is still the same fun-loving, kind and thoughtful person that she has always been.  I know it’s hard for her.  She takes pain medicine every few hours and needs help with most everything.  My Dad is a champ.

I wish I lived closer to her.  When we are around her she always seems to rally as best she can. She doesn’t like to miss out on whatever is going on.  She’s usually the last one to bed, up laughing or watching movies, or talking with whoever is still up.  She’s fun like that.  We’ve all adapted over the years, trying to make things easier for her.  When we come for visits, dad helps with the cleaning, we plan simple meals or often come prepared to help with the cooking – but it’s still hard on my mom.  She never complains though.  She loves her family so much, we all know it.

I know a bit about Parkinson’s Disease.  I know what’s down the road but I don’t like to think about it.  I try not to.  It’s hard.  Every once in a while I have a moment where I am reminded and that is always hard.  There were times when I realized she couldn’t pick up my baby, or walking up and down my stairs in the other house was just too difficult for her, or hearing a friend talk about spending the day at a craft show with her mom and thinking about all the times I have done that with my mom – but now, well – it’s different.

This weekend I had plans.  They have changed now.  That’s why today is so hard.  Not necessarily because my weekend plans have changed, but because I’ve had a heavy dose of reality and it’s almost more of a punch to the gut than the initial diagnosis of Parkinson’s Disease. 

You see, my mom needs help with a lot of things now and that is hard for her.  I love her and would do anything for her.  We had planned that I would leave this morning and come to take her to the temple.  I cleared my weekend and planned to leave right after my kids were off for school so we could do a session before it got busy.  Because I needed to be there before the weekend, I was coming alone.  Usually when I go to visit my parents, it’s with the entire family.  Occasionally I’ll take a trip out there with just the kids, but never is it just me.  It’s always busy getting out the door, but I had thought about how I could stay in bed Saturday morning as long as I wanted, maybe I’d take my parents to lunch or help my mom start her Christmas list.  We could watch movies or just visit, maybe I’d help her with some of her cleaning or whatever else she needed help with.  I wouldn’t have any of my kids to distract me from giving all of my time and energy to her.  It was going to be really nice.

My dad called early this morning.  He caught me just as I was heading out the door for my morning run.  He was glad he caught me and said mom had had a really difficult night.  She hadn’t slept all night and had a horrible headache.  He said she probably just over-did it yesterday trying to get ready for me to come - a little cleaning, some grocery shopping and a few things for us to do together he explained. 

“Please don’t come,” was his simple plea. 

“She needs to rest,” he said.  He sounded tired.

I’m having one of those moments.  I try to be strong and stay positive, but sometimes reality hits and it hits hard.  Her disease is progressing.  I just wanted to come and be with her, just wanted to help her.  Now I feel so incredibly helpless and my heart feels so heavy it is painful.  My dad said it was a really difficult night and I believe him.  My mom always rallies.  This time she just can’t.  That’s what is so hard.

This is real.  This is happening. 

Happy Halloween

Halloween is just so fun!  

Austin wore his Incredible Hulk costume all month long.  He actually scared people too, even his dad nearly lost it when he walked out of the bathroom to find Austin quietly waiting for him on Halloween morning.  Yikes!

 Emma was a witch.

These two are like peas in a pod.  Natalie was the most adorable zebra.

 They met up with their friend Eliza who had an extra creative Junie B. Jones costume.  I loved it!

 Linsey and her friends.  She was a creepy doll.

Hunter invited a few friends from his new school to come over and trick or treat with him.  First his buddy Wyatt showed up and they had plans to meet up with another friend named Max, then some cute girls came and knocked on the door.  Hunter has become very social, but has been anti-girls for as long as I can remember so this took me a little by surprise.  Should I be worried?  They were darling and one lives just around the corner. 

They left before I could get a picture, but at the end of the evening I was able to snap a quick shot of these three.

We have some super cool neighbors down the street who REALLY get into decorating for Halloween every year.  They had this ET themed set-up complete with a bicycle in the sky and a childlike figure that actually pedaled the bike.  It was quite amazing, plus they gave out full-sized candy bars.  Hunter got two because he danced.  

Austin and I had fun planning a Halloween party with some of his little friends.  We invited them over earlier in the day to play games, make a few crafts, and decorate cookies.  It was so much fun!

 And last, but not least...  Austin's preschool class had their own costume party!

And that's why we love Halloween!

...plus there's the candy (SOOO much candy)

18 with 22 years of experience!

Turning 40 really doesn't seem like that big of a deal to me.  Probably because I'm not the one turning 40... not even close (sorry Jared).  He isn't thrilled with the whole "over the hill" thing, but I'm handling it much better than I did when he turned 30.  That felt so grown up when I was only 26.  I felt like Jared turning 30 meant he had to suddenly worry about his cholesterol and high blood pressure, I even convinced him to go and get a physical just to make sure he was healthy.  A few years later when I turned 30... I realized it was no big deal.  30 felt just the same as 29.  It's just a number, but being that this year was the big 4-0 that number means that we had an even bigger excuse to celebrate!

I invited some of our friends over for a 40th birthday bash Friday night.  We ate yummy food and played some fun games.  We told stories and laughed til our cheeks hurt.

We played a whole variety of "minute to win it" games; this one was probably my favorite to watch.  Jared and Jon had to pick up all of these bags using only their mouth.  Here they are stretching.

Ready, set, GO!

I love how DJ is laughing so hard.  It was pretty hilarious.

Here are a few of the other games ...

cereal box puzzle

knock over cups with air from a blown up balloon

empty a box of tissues with only one hand, one tissue at a time

stack 7 cakes on your head

We were quite loud cheering and laughing.  You can see my kids peeking down from the stairs behind Barb. They never came all the way down.  First we saw Austin's little face, and then a mirror, pretty soon there they all were.  

moving a cookie from their forehead to their mouth without using their hands

balance 6 dice on a spoon held in your mouth

unravel two spools of crepe paper with your arms

empty two boxes of tic tacs with your teeth

Proof that he cheated.
In his defense, both of us hit a point where they got jammed.

We had a great time laughing and finished off the night by sharing stories about Jared.  Everyone shared a favorite memory or first impression of Jared.  There were lots of fun stories and also several references to Mr. Incredible.  That will never get old.  

Sunday night we invited Jared's family over for dinner.

They are always so much fun to visit with.

Because we had had so much fun with the games on Friday, we decided to try some of them with our family.  It was still a lot of fun, but very different.

The adults didn't do this every time we had a mess with tissues or toilet paper.

Look at the pure joy on these kids faces.  I Love it!

The adults certainly didn't go after the spilled tic tacs.

Since Jared did such a great job on this game at his party, we had him do it again with his brother Mat.  It was just as funny.  Mat went after that bag with all he had, even fell and then resorted to using his dad's cane.

Jared is a wonderful husband, my best friend, and the greatest dad our children could possibly have.    We are all so lucky to have him in our lives.

Happy Birthday Jared!

We love you!

Pumpkin Patch

Oh how we love to visit the pumpkin patch.  It's one of my favorite Fall activities.  Not every pumpkin patch is quite like this one though, Maris Farms is so much more than your ordinary pumpkin patch.

It's fun to race around a course on these little go-karts.  (A good leg workout too.)

 And this never gets old.

This kid, he's pretty great!  I wrote about his struggle starting at a brand new school this year and then about how he surprised us by running for Vice President a few weeks later.  We found out last week that he WON!  I'm so proud of him!  Not necessarily for winning, but for reminding me that even against all odds, it's okay to go for something that you really want.  If you don't try, you'll never know.

Someday we'll come when they have the pumpkin shooters and zipline up and going.  That's only on the weekends.  Thankfully there were lots of other things to do and we kept plenty busy.

Friends always make things more fun.  We sure love the Tew family.
The corn maze I wasn't quite as fond of.  It was fun at first, but very muddy and it took way too long to get out of.  Yeah, I admit... we got lost.

These girls looked extra pale after coming out of the corn room.  Yup, that's corn dust covering them from head to toe.

A few days later, Austin and I came back for his preschool field trip.  Here he is with his sweet teacher Miss Cindy.

Oh, and that corn room is just soooo much fun!  Kids love it.  

It's fun to feed the goats and visit the baby animals.

Austin loves his little friend Gavin.  Here they are waiting to go on the hay ride to pick out their pumpkins.

I just got word that we are going to do family pictures with Jared's family at Christmas.  I was purposely putting off our own much needed pictures because some of my kids are in awkward "smiling" stages.  I won't go into detail, but I wasn't worried about Austin as much.  Then he started doing these awkward poses when I'd tell him to smile.  Seriously...

Family pictures are going to be awesome!!

Linsey went back to Maris Farms another night for some of the scary fun!  They got to ride a bus while shooting paint guns at scary zombies, one even snuck onto their bus and scared the tar out of them.  They also went through a haunter corn maze.  But look at how adorable this scary little clown is.

Gotta love Maris Farms...  It's my favorite pumpkin patch!